Reciprocation
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“Pay every debt, as if God wrote the bill.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wikipedia states:
In social psychology, reciprocity refers to responding to a positive action with another positive action, and responding to a negative action with another negative one. Positive reciprocal actions differ from altruistic actions as they only follow from other positive actions and they differ from social gift giving in that they are not actions taken with the hope or expectation of future positive responses.
I think it’s a matter of feeling independent, when someone gives you something you find yourself with the feeling your in debt with them (it’s the way we’ve all been brought up), so to ease that feeling we try to pay them back with favor’s, gift’s or in some cases being nice to them even if we don’t like them.
How This Affects The Dating Scene
I think it’s pretty obvious how this work, we all know and sometimes use the technique where we buy a beautiful lady a drink but never question why.We’ve seen over the years it has worked (and still does) that by buying a girl a drink we make them feel in debt with us and the only way they can pay us back is by establishing a conversation and acting interested then if your actually lucky, what started as acting evolves into genuine interest leading to a first date.
If you give her something she really wants that she knows your not to keen of, she will put that very high in her “debt to payback” list, one day you will find out the best sex you’ll ever have (maybe apart from the honeymoon sex) is the “post marriage proposal” sex, some of my friends have only experienced it a couple of times each (haha yeah their that low), but they say there’s nothing like it.
How This Affects Relationships
Buying some flowers or chocolates after a fight is something everyone has had to do at some stage, and for the cheap price of $9.99 and the thoughtfulness of a cheap card with something sweet written on it, you can pretend the fight never happened thanks to the reciprocation rule. Jewelry/Lingerie is the best reciprocation gift when your looking for sex, but theres many other aspects of this rule.
Studies have shown men who help around the house (washing dishes, sweeping floors, doing laundry, cooking) get more sexual attention by their partners than the ones who don’t, why? Firstly comes the obvious reason that the less she has to do means the less tired she will be when it comes to sex and will also have more time for it. The second rule however is that even though she thinks their should be equality in a relationship when it comes to work, in the back of her head she knows it’s more of a female thing so she appreciates your thoughtfulness and feels the need to pay you back…whats the only thing relationship guys want that relationship women don’t give? yep, you guessed it.
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